Cooperative marriage, a "fake marriage" or a new intimate alliance?

Abstract

Cooperative marriage is a heterosexual marriage negotiated and performed by a lala (a woman with same-sex desire) and a gay man. Building on growing debates on cooperative marriage within the tongzhi community and on intensifying media and academic attention, this thesis presents an empirical investigation of how gay men and lalas understand their experiences while in cooperative marriage. The study is based on in-depth interviews, participant observation and focus group interviews of twenty-two gay men and lalas in cooperative marriage distributed across five cities in China: Beijing, Shenyang, Hangzhou, Guangzhou and Foshan. Among the questions addressed are: Why do gay men and lalas opt for this particular type of marriage? What are the lived experiences of sexual minorities facing cultural and institutional discrimination in China? What are the main living strategies and styles they adopt to cope with such discrimination? The study also explores different ways of relating to others and some novel intimate practices emerging. It is shown that, in general, these are not in harmony with the heteronormative values that are dominating society today. The new ways and practices are therefore challenging criticism from liberal rights activists, particularly with regard to issues such as coming out.

I identify four types of orientations of gay men and lalas towards cooperative marriage: familial, individual, pragmatic, and idealistic. These reveal how gay men and lalas understand their relations to other main players in their lives and strategize accordingly. Among the characteristics playing key roles in their decision making are gender, being the single child of the family and co-residence with the parents in the same city (local vs. non-local).

It is shown that the lives of gay men and lalas in cooperative marriage are being complicated by the need to negotiate multiple relationships, e.g., with the marital partner, the same-sex partner, the marital partner’s partner, the natal family, the in-laws, and the gay community around. I also theorize on the major types of politics of intimate relationships engaged in by gay men and lalas as they craft their living spaces while in cooperative marriage.

Finally, I demonstrate that cooperative marriage has led to a new sub-cultural tongzhi movement where gay men and lalas build on the rapport they have developed with each other; e.g., they share information and experiences while participating in semi-open public discussions and matchmaking events. This is leading to emergent types of new ethics within the community which have critically challenged the stereo types and dominant narratives on tongzhi strategizing.